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It Gets To Be Easy
We empower women to grow confident in creating their most healthful & joy-filled life with ease.
It Gets To Be Easy
Meeting Your Emotions: The Secret to Breaking Free from Patterns with Susan Wise
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Are you doing all the right things but still feeling stuck in the same old patterns? Susan Wise returns to the podcast with a revolutionary approach to personal transformation that might be the missing piece you've been searching for.
Most of us have been taught to avoid difficult emotions or push through them with sheer willpower. But what if these emotions are actually our greatest allies in creating lasting change? Susan shares that 95% of our beliefs about ourselves form before age seven, creating subconscious programming that keeps us stuck in loops despite our conscious efforts to change.
The key to breaking free isn't trying harder—it's meeting your emotions with curiosity, compassion, and even playfulness. Susan walks us through her seven-step "Uplightening Game," a chakra-aligned process that helps women move from stuck to inspired with more ease. What makes this approach unique is how it transforms emotional work from something heavy into something lightened through play. Research shows that habits formed through play can be established in just 10-20 repetitions versus 400 repetitions when approached as work.
One powerful tool Susan offers is asking "How is this happening FOR me?" This simple question immediately shifts us from victim mode to creator mode, helping us access the parasympathetic state where true innovation becomes possible. Rather than trying to "fix" or eliminate emotions, Susan teaches us to honor them as teachers, thank them for their protection, and invite them to vibrate at higher frequencies aligned with our soul's desires.
For women tired of the hustle, Susan recommends two immediate practices: be relentlessly kind to yourself and use your imagination without limits. By allowing yourself to envision possibilities beyond what seems "realistic," you open neural pathways that invite unexpected magic into your life.
Ready to transform your relationship with your emotions? Visit susan-wise.com to join her free bi-weekly calls and learn about upcoming retreats where you can experience this work in community.
Connect with Susan: www.susan-wise.com
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Welcome to it Gets To Be Easy Podcast where you're granted permission to live your most healthful and joy-filled life with ease.
Speaker 1:We are your hosts, katie and Shauna, and together we've been cracking the code to creating our own realities with ease, and now we've set out to help you grow confident in this too.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the show, everyone. We're so glad you're here. If you tuned into our last episode, we were talking about being called more than ever right now, to lean into creating our own path, versus really trying to access those condition supports that really are just putting expectations on us or maybe like a usual way to address some of our wellness needs. And if you have ever felt like you're doing all the things setting the goals, building the habits, chasing the growth but you still find yourself stuck in the same old patterns, this episode is totally for you. We are asking the question what if it doesn't have to be about trying harder or sacrificing more? So we're so excited we are actually joined today with my friend, susan Wise. She is so insightful, you guys.
Speaker 2:She's been on the podcast before, but she is a life strategist, a coach, a speaker who really helps women create that inner peace and joyful, abundant lives that they really truly desire. Susan believes that happiness is an inside job and in this conversation we're going to dive into how our emotions can actually become our greatest allies in creating real, lasting change in our lives. So Susan shares a powerful seven-step process from her workshop Meet your Emotions to get what you really want in life. This is a method that she's using to help women move from stuck to inspired with more ease and more confidence. So we're so excited about this, let's get into it. Welcome, susan, we're so glad you're here.
Speaker 3:Thank you. I'm so happy to be here, so excited to be back, thank you.
Speaker 1:Of course, we look forward to diving into what you've been up to since we last had you with us. So I just want to set the stage for the listeners on this. The course that you're working through is you speak to women who are doing the work. So they're coming in, they're reading the books, they're setting goals, but they're still feeling stuck, like it's just not quite hitting. So what inspired you to create this workshop and what shift were you seeing was most needed in this personal growth space?
Speaker 3:I think, like with most everything, what inspired me to do it was because it was all the things that I was doing. I was feeling stuck. I'm like, oh my gosh, I can't really take one more course and I can't check one more box and this stuff, why, why are these patterns not coming in? So it was really a deep dive in to try to figure out for myself and had some successes. So it's you know where you get so excited when it works for you, you're like I want to share because this is amazing. It eluded me for so long. So that's what inspired it.
Speaker 1:Yes, Incredible and I think that's so. It Like you see the gap and you're like I can fill this. Let me do this for everyone. I love that. Thanks for sharing.
Speaker 2:That goes so in line with our last episode that we had Listeners. I don't know if you tuned in, but I think it's just so connected to that. We're really trying to get to a place where we give ourselves permission to be able to tap inward and know what that is that we need and then to share it forward, because there is this community of women who are like I'm going to need this if I'm going to step out of that checking the box or doing things the way that maybe I was doing them in the past. So love that. Can't wait to see what you're adding into that today. So I know that you mentioned in some of your course outlines that people often repeat old patterns, despite our best efforts. Right, we kind of get stuck in what we know or what we've done before, and so, in your experience, what do you think is really going on beneath the surface when we kind of get stuck in that loop or repeating those old patterns?
Speaker 3:Well, I think it's really important for us to remember I think I mentioned this statistic when I was on previously and it's just so amazing to me and it just keeps coming. I keep seeing it repeated to me everywhere but 90, or sometimes you'll say 95%, of the beliefs that we adopt about ourself and the world around us we adopt before the age of seven, when our brain, you know, from one to six, seven, our brain waves are in a theta state, so we're just a sponge, literally like taking on every figuring out how to survive this world, which we take on a lot of great things, but we also take on what we believe our identity is and what we believe the world's identity is, and we are never encouraged to go back and review those. We just think this is me, this is us, this is the way the world is, and we are never encouraged to to go back and review those. We're just think this is me, this is us, this is the way the world is, and so, um, it's really going back and and realizing what, what are, what do I believe in? Are those my beliefs? Are they just ones I have by default? Um, and the way that I really have gotten? Um, for me, a lot of it.
Speaker 3:It was hard for me to go into feeling. I feel like what I learned from my programming was it was safe to stay above my neck, to just remain analytical about everything. I mean feel a few things, but don't you know, that's a little that's scary territory going in there. So just stay above and try to analyze everything. So so I could analyze I mean, for decades in self-help and self-development all these patterns I could. I could analyze exactly what was going on. I could say all the mantras and mantras are fabulous, don't get me wrong, they're wonderful but not if you don't go underneath and actually do the work under the hood and figure out, yeah, get that, get that, that energy moving, so the mantra will actually help, um, yeah, so really the first step for me after all of this was, um, really getting in relationship with myself.
Speaker 3:And by doing the different parts of me and that's what I spoke about the last time we were on was really getting in touch with, in relationship with the different parts of myself.
Speaker 3:And the reason being is that I didn't know I was again, I was just sort of dictating everything my physical, my mental, my emotional, everything from my analytical state. So I had to really go in and get in relationship with these different parts of myself to be able to have conversations to be like, okay, why are you holding onto this story? You know, and I'm yeah, you know, my story is about money, my story is about um, about my physical being. My story is about everything, relationships, um, yeah. So really getting in relationship with my, the different parts of myself, and then in that way, I was able to allow myself to get into emotions and know that I would be safe. I was safe going to my emotions and I could come back out and be. You know, and every time I do it, I'm allowing a little bit more of my authentic self and my true soul to come through.
Speaker 1:And I know Shauna had talked about this a little bit the last time we talked, but in general, it's something that themes through is being is letting go of the ego portion of your brain that's saying oof like can't feel all the feels or don't be vulnerable, and it's so easy to kind of brush off those instances. So I'd love to hear more about this. Like you know, the title of the workshop is Meet your Emotions, so I'd love to hear more about this. Like you know, the title of the workshop is Meet your Emotions, and we know that these emotions are playing a role in helping us get to what we really want. So what changes when we stop avoiding these emotions? What are these transformations that you're experiencing or that you're seeing?
Speaker 3:in others. Yeah, and I think, also realizing exactly what you just said, that every single emotion that we have is a teacher, is a potential teacher, and we can welcome it in and invite it in and learn what it has to teach us, or we can push it away, and if we push it away it's going to come back around. It's just going to be knocking louder and harder and probably with more discomfort. It's like with more discomfort, it's like let those emotions in and really, and again, you know, so much of the other work that I had done previously was all about eliminating those emotions and getting rid of them and getting rid of that energy. And so with the game I go into a lot about and the whole beginning of it is a lot about, you know, just principles of energy and sort of the scientific stuff that we are an energy bundle. We're not really like.
Speaker 3:One of the laws of quantum physics is the energy cannot be created or destroyed. So we are, you know, we are our inner energy unit and so when we say we want to, you know we're just accessing different frequencies of our, of our energy. We're creating different frequencies within ourselves. So we're not really getting rid of energy, we're just allowing that energy to vibrate at a higher frequency. So is, how can we uh, with a conscious awareness and lovingly go in and invite these emotions? You know it's it's sort of like what we resist persists. So if we're trying to just get rid of of an emotion or a feeling, again it's going to come back around. But if we can go in deep and get in conversation with it and why are you here? What are you trying to teach me? And I appreciate you, I honor you, I thank you for doing this because I know there's potential growth out of this and I'm inviting you to come in and vibrate at a higher frequency, more in alignment with what our soul wants now. So yeah, it's the alignment piece, yeah.
Speaker 2:I love that so much, and I just think you really put it into perspective too. I know sometimes we try to talk about energy and share that on the show, and sometimes it can be kind of beyond for this audience, right, and so I just love how you put that, though, because that's really what it is Like. We're just trying to recognize that we are energetic beings and we get this opportunity to have these higher frequencies and experience them more and more in our lives. If we allow ourselves to what you just said like uplift it versus get rid of it, or what we talked about last episode of like just trying to go into fixer mode If we do work from a place of just pushing it away or trying to fix it, maybe get some resolution here and there, but it comes back I know that we've talked about that on the show before like oh, there you are again.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, actually I probably pushed you away real quick. So let me, let me nourish that this time. So love that. I hope our listeners can connect with that too, because it really is a place where we start to feel that we can be safe going there, because that is how we nourish our ego, right, we talk about that on the show is that it's just sometimes a challenge for us, because our ego does have very strong voice in the sense of making sure that what we're doing is to keep us safe. Right, it's that survival component that we do love about it when we need it, but it can be too loud when we don't need it. So, yes, I love that.
Speaker 3:So go ahead. I was going to say I've mentioned this on the last time too, but I swear it's something I use daily is the saying how is this happening for me? Because that immediately takes you out of victim mode. I mean, just to make it very personal right now. I thought I was going to be in a space that I would have all morning to just be here and blah blah.
Speaker 3:I ended up having to move out of a place, check into a place I'm checking in going. I have a podcast in 20 minutes, is there any way? And so, like I was expecting to be in, but all the way out to, you know, for the driving, I had to drive a half hour and I was like, how is this happening for me? Because I immediately my physicality. I just started to like I can't believe it, you know, and I started to beat myself up and I was like, no, I refuse to beat myself up, I refuse to not love myself for this. So, how you know? And I'm like, okay, this is, if nothing else, this is giving me an opportunity to exercise for myself. How can I love myself? Because otherwise I could have caused my self physical damage by literally, like just exuding a gazillion, you know, stress hormones and and been totally frazzled.
Speaker 3:I'm like, no, this is an amazing opportunity to have. These girls are amazing, they'll just they'll, they'll make it perfect. So this is an opportunity to to breathe through this and and accept the opportunity. So again, just that little phrase, I think, can really help us get into where what. Yeah, not go instinctively into reactive, reactive emotions, into reactive emotions. Yeah, center yourself, you know I'm safe, accept the situation, find a moment of peace, even if it's just a moment of peace, and from there then you can invite in, then you can converse with those emotions, then you can go deep. But you have to get back out of the fight or flight into the parasympathetic and allow yourself to, yeah, gosh those emotions.
Speaker 2:That is so powerful and I think, too, like one of the things I just love how you shared that being vulnerable and sharing that. That that just happened right and and, too, you know, when we got started, before we started recording, just saying that you needed a minute to to regroup and to look at what we were talking about, and those kinds of things, and so I think that's powerful too and I hope our listeners can hear. That too is sometimes as women, we think that we just have to like, oh, I said I was going to do this, so let me just do it, when really we just need a minute to what you said center and settle, and it's just, it's okay for us to ask for that in our communities when we are, you know, needing that support from the others that we're gathering with, or you know, co-creating something with so really important component to all of this as well.
Speaker 2:And then, yeah, like we then, right, you're not packing it away in the body, we talk about that, right, like you probably pack that away if you don't allow it to kind of move through and then later you're dealing with it. So wow, wow, wow, yes, awesome. So the seven step process that you talk about in the workshop or, as you referred to it a minute ago, the game, right? So when you're going through the seven step process without giving it all away, of course, can you kind of just walk us through that, Like what's a glimpse of the seven-step process that you are teaching? And then kind of what makes that different from maybe a traditional mindset work or a therapy approach?
Speaker 1:We'd like to take a break from our show to invite you to join our Patreon community. Over on Patreon, we have so many incredible resources to support you in your journey to living your most health-filled and joy-filled life. We have journal prompts, we have exclusive host interviews, we have incredible resources with self-affirmations and guidance on how to approach creating your own reality with ease. We hope to see you over on Patreon soon and we look forward to welcoming you into our incredible community.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I actually do call it a game, I call it the uplightening game. As you know, I am all about trying to come at things from a place of play. Again, again, I think I said this before, but research shows if you do something to create something, a habit, it takes about 400 repetitions, unless if you do it in play, then it can take as few as 10 to 20 times. So why not do it in play? And plus, we're just so much more open to possibilities in the, in the, you know, in in the space of play. And for me, work has the energetically, has a lot of sort of density behind it. So, um, it's. So I do present it as a game.
Speaker 3:I ask everybody to bring their imagination because I think that's a superpower we all have. We all had when we were a kid, and it's, um, it's there and it's it can help us. I go into a lot before, like I said, sort of the scientific bit about how we are divine energetic beings, and then it's the seven steps. I actually follow the chakras, but you don't need to know anything about the chakras. Really more than anything at this point when I'm going through it, it's more of like as a way to remember the steps of the tools. And if you want to go back to one, you're like, oh yeah, that one, really, that one really helped steps of the tools. And so if you want to go back to one, you're like, oh yeah, that one, really, that one really helped. So, um, it's um. So we start. So I play it with um triggers or sparkles. So a sparkle is something that is going fabulous in your life that you really want to, you want more of, you want to amplify that energy and you just want to celebrate it, honor it and create more of it. Um, I usually encourage people, when we're doing it together, to play with a trigger.
Speaker 3:And a trigger is just something that's misaligned in your life and it can be something from childhood, it can be something from right now that's happening, it's interpersonal, it can be physical, it can be, you know, work anything, anything that's misaligned, and take that trigger. And then we, we really we think about it and we feel it real hard. We, you know, go into our sort of arthritis. We really feel it. And then the next step what we talked about just previously was we go into our throat chakra and we breathe, and I got everybody to just say you know, exhale and say I am safe, I am safe, I feel peace, even just for a moment, just to remind ourselves that, no matter how misaligned we get and chaotic it gets, we always have the power to go back and find that peace, and that peace is the only place we can create from Again, back in our parasympathetic, and that's where we have our brain can function fully. We have options available to us.
Speaker 3:When we stay in that fight or flight, literally our brain shuts down and we're just, yeah, so anyway, getting ourself back into that place where we're not in victim mode, where we know we are the power, we have the power inside of us and we're the creators of reality. Then we go into our heart and we really feel all the emotions and we feel them and we name them and we not just like pet them, you want to go deep and you want to feel them and you want to, and we name them and we say like I feel fear and I love myself, I feel anger and I love myself. So name all your emotions and really really feel them. Then go back and tell them I honor you, I feel hate and I honor you and I thank you because I know I put you there for a reason. Honor you and I thank you because I know I put you there for a reason. I put that I, I, I put that there that protection for to protect me. So whatever it is thinks on some level that it needs to protect me. So really honoring it for that and then again inviting it, not from the dictator of you, come over here, you're bad, not shaming it, not, you know you're bad, you're, you're I. I don't even want to acknowledge you, I just want you to get over here. You know, really loving it and and inviting because it's so powerful, it's so.
Speaker 3:It's a lot of these things, especially patterns that keep coming up. They've been fighting for you every single day of their life for what they thought was an original program that you, that you programmed. So I programmed that in there. And it's been fighting every day and I've been trying to change the program out here but I forgot to go in and tell, tell that program that it's safe, you don't have to, we don't have to keep going on that program anymore.
Speaker 3:So, um, yeah, and then we just do some more steps about really, really feeling, you know, playing all the parts, feeling all the different parts. Where can this possibly be a mirror for me? What could possibly you know, how would this feel if I, you know? Another step how would that if this was resolved? What would that feel like? And again, not not like spiritual bypassing, I'm not, um, you know I'm not. I'm feeling those feels, but what would if I, if this trigger comes again? What would it feel like if I was able to think of it when it's resolved, as opposed to going down the rabbit hole Again at one part of it?
Speaker 3:I really ask us to use our imagination because again I asked that question how think of three ways that this could possibly be happening for you? Not the hows, not the whys, you know, not the hows just, or the whys just. How could it possibly be happening for you? But not the details of, of of the resolution, um, yeah, and then thanking yourself Thank you for taking the time and the awareness, thanking everybody, all the other actors in your movie that make this um, make these lessons come to life for you even more dynamically, because if we just were playing by ourself, it wouldn't be near as much, not near as much as dynamic. So yeah and yeah, and then go. At the end come, you know, ask everybody like what came up for them.
Speaker 3:And then it's really nice to do it in a group setting because the shares, as you know, are always, you know, so powerful and you learn so much from everybody else's Um, but and then but.
Speaker 3:The thing is but, but it's something you can play, it's a game you always play by yourself and you're always going to win. And it's these, you know, and I, I use these tools especially, especially, it seems like in the middle of the night, when something wakes me up and I'm just like, oh, I'm like, oh, wait, I can go through this little process and I can, I can meet it there and I can, yeah, but, and then, and then, also remembering that to not be judgmental of of these things that seem negative, of these negative emotions. Do not be judgmental of them, just thank them and honor them and know that they're here. They're what is helping you grow and expand. If we take the time and the attention to get in relationship with them, learn what they have to show us. That's how we're going to expand and be more in alignment with what, what we really want.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 2:You know, I just heard something come through as you were saying that, as, like, gratitude is like an antidote to judgment, you know. So, if we can bring ourself to that space of like, being grateful for it even if it is those actors that we are like, did I really put those in my film? But just being able to flip that and be able to see and be grateful for it is such a powerful tool. And I love that you just brought up just doing it when you wake up in the middle of the night, because, yeah, oftentimes, as women, that is when you know our ego is really loud or wakes us up and is telling us to address some things in a certain way. So this is very powerful. What a very cool process that you've put together. I love it so much.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's great. Thank you for walking through that, and you've shared some of the testimonials and the benefits of working together with other people through these processes, and what do you feel like really tends to surprise people the most about going through this experience with you?
Speaker 3:Just, I think the play is a huge thing because most people, again, it's the work, it's the therapy, it's the you know and just being loving to yourself and loving all the parts of yourself and just approaching it in so much love, um has been really powerful and bringing and yeah, and then bringing everybody back to that place of just wholeness and love and knowing that everything's perfect, you know, and and these really are just here to to help you, yeah yeah so good.
Speaker 2:I love that. How to approach life through play is probably something all of us could get a new um routine with, I think um, especially those of us who are recovering hustlers because we've taken on the fact that, like, oh, I just have to get all these done, I, I have to get all these boxes checked, like who has time for play. So I think that that's a great, great way to lead a process of connecting with ourselves is to allow it to not be so dang serious, actually be more powerful from that yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:And not just one more thing to do, but something that you actually want to experience and engage in and keep coming back to.
Speaker 3:So that's really cool, yeah, and it's fun because when you see it work one or two times you're like, oh dang, these really work. These are going to come in handy every day.
Speaker 2:Yes, different steps of it, a game to keep playing. I love that. Yeah, all right, so this has been so good. I do want to ask for the women who are listening, susan, that feel stuck in that hustle. I was just talking about that loop of old habits. Feel stuck in that hustle, I was just talking about that loop of old habits. What's one small way she can begin to meet her emotions today and move towards what she really wants with more ease?
Speaker 3:Oh, be kind to yourself, just really, really love yourself and also use that power of your imagination, that your superpower, you know. If you're are feeling stuck, go in and just imagine what are the different ways that I, what would I feel like, what could possibly different scenarios that I wouldn't feel stuck in this way, and it doesn't matter how outlandish or if they could ever you know, in your, in your logical mind, could ever happen. Just use that, your imagination and just go crazy and then by doing, just by doing that, it's like you know everything that you see around you, you know that is had to exist in somebody's imagination first. So it's like we, almost so it's. Our imagination can be very limiting If we only allow ourselves to imagine ourselves in a certain box that's as big as we're going to. Let ourself go go crazy and let yourself just imagine yourself in everything, and it just literally opens up the potentials of possibility for, for new things that you can't even imagine to come in. So it's like a self-fulfilling little game there. I love that.
Speaker 2:We talk about this or something better, right, and the more time we spend in allowing ourselves to have that big imagination of what something better is, it shows up.
Speaker 3:So I love that, and we don't stop ourselves by oh, but I don't have the money. Oh, I don't have the time, oh, I can't let that person down. No, in your imagination you can imagine anything, and there's no everything's game.
Speaker 1:Awesome. So before we wrap, Susan, can you remind everyone where we can find you, and of course we'll put these links in the show notes so that they can come and follow you and keep learning.
Speaker 3:Yes, my website is susan-wisecom. I have a bi-weekly call called Embodying Wisdom and Expansion. That is free. It's a free zoom call. It's super fun. It's a space where we just gather um to have conversations like this. Just have you know, spiritual life conversations, um, just a great mix of people would love for anybody, everybody, to join. That. It's just a super fun space.
Speaker 3:Um, I am starting to do retreats again. I have my first retreat in San Miguel de Allende, mexico, in June. Um, and there's more on the horizon. I think we're doing Bali next, maybe Turkey. So yeah, if anybody's interested in they'll have a little bit of yoga and movement and then they're all pretty much like about sort of self-love. But we also they're called Wise Well Adventures. We also, wherever we are, we go out and you know, this time we're going to a sound bath. There's these thermal baths in San Miguel de Allende, so we're going there and they're having a sound healer. Come in. We're doing a trail ride one day. We're doing a expressive painting from your soul thing one day. So yeah, just adventure and self-love.
Speaker 1:That sounds exciting.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Wonderful. Yes, well, we will go ahead and wrap up for today, but this has been such a great conversation and to our listeners, we just, susan, your approach is such a refreshing reminder that the path to joy and fulfillment isn't about pushing harder, it's more turning inward with that curiosity, the imagination, the compassion for ourselves. And so we want to encourage our listeners, if they're feeling called, to shift out the hustle and reconnect with our deeper power. Follow along with Susan and join those free bi-weekly calls and we will have all of the details in the show notes and a bonus tool to integrate some of the things we talked about today over in our free Patreon community. And so, listeners, if you remember anything from today's chat, take away this when you meet your emotions, you meet yourself, and that's where the real magic can begin. So, until next time, use your imagination, be kind to yourself and take care. Keep choosing to create your own reality with ease.
Speaker 2:We want to welcome you, to tune in, stay close and grow with us. Come feel empowered, inspired and connected.
Speaker 1:Check the show notes to follow us and, of course, we'd love for you to take us on social media and you share what lands for you until next time.
Speaker 2:Breathe on purpose, stay curious and trust your intuition.