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It Gets To Be Easy
We empower women to grow confident in creating their most healthful & joy-filled life with ease.
It Gets To Be Easy
The Journey to Authentic Self-Worth - Shifting from Hustle Module 4
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What would your life look like if you could break free from the hustle mentality and truly embrace authentic self-worth? Join us on the latest empowering episode of "It Gets To Be Easy Podcast," where we challenge the cultural norms of relentless productivity and explore the pathways to genuine self-worth, especially for women leaders. Through personal anecdotes and insights from a powerful coaching session, Shauna guides us in understanding the liberation that comes from releasing the need for external validation and societal shoulds.
Discover the art of empowering authentic decision-making as we discuss the pivotal moments in our careers that led to profound shifts in our lives. We dive deep into the struggles and triumphs of detaching our identities from our work roles, emphasizing the importance of slowing down to reassess and realign with our core values and true desires. Reflecting on recent societal changes, including the pandemic's impact, we highlight how these times have prompted many to rethink their paths and embrace choices that foster personal harmony and fulfillment.
Finally, we focus on the journey of creating self-worth through intentional self-care and inner work. By sharing relatable stories of overcoming the discomfort of external validation, we offer practical tips for maintaining balance and well-being. From meditation and relaxation rituals to recognizing signs of burnout, learn how to cultivate confidence and peace amidst life’s chaos. Join us as we reflect on core values, challenge limiting beliefs, and embrace a life filled with joyful and inspired action.
Mentioned in this episode:
- The Dance of Hustle and Joyful Calm - Shift from Hustle Module 1
- Navigating Life Beyond Hustle Culture - Shift from Hustle Module 2
- Thriving with Healthy Boundaries - Shifting from Hustle Module 3
Digital Courses
Shifting Hustle Course - Available on Patreon
- Reset your availability
- Learn your core values and passions
- Tap into your inner knowing
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Email - ksempoweredliving@gmail.com
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Shauna Bell @sbell.wellness
Katie Smith @k.smithoilsfitness
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Welcome to it Gets To Be Easy Podcast where you're granted permission to live your most healthful and joy-filled life with ease.
Speaker 1:We are your hosts, katie and Shauna, and together we've been cracking the code to creating our own realities with ease, and now we've set out to help you grow confident in this too. Hi friends, welcome back to our show. We really hope you've enjoyed the last few episodes. We've been taking you along for some candid conversations about our personal revisits with our Shifting from Hustle course. So today we're wrapping up the series with module four. This one is all about creating authentic self-worth.
Speaker 1:When we were creating this course, we leaned into understanding some of what lies at the roots of how women get tangled up in hustle. In the first place, we realized that one of the influence that muddies the waters when it comes to our self-worth is external validation and comparison mode. The constant barrage of information and opinions outside of us can overwhelm and blur our focus, ultimately being a thief to our joy. So in this module, we walk you through observing comparison mode, creating routines, rituals that keep us connected with self and allow us to dream desire from a place of authenticity versus what we should want. And, finally, we invite you into a practice of reflection that will nurture self-love and acceptance in order to keep you aligned with your intention to shift out of constant hustle and more into your joy-filled life with inspired action. So let's dive in. Shauna, tell us what came up for you when you jumped in on this first pause activity in the module where we're looking at the effects of comparison mode Any aha moments, yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2:So I went back to, you know, each of these modules. We have these little videos that are super bite-sized, like less than five minutes, where we're kind of talking about this in real life. And I was watching that video and something that was really really stood out. There is how we were saying that now we are feeling like these things do still happen and we do still go into comparison mode with different things in our lives, but how we're able to pull ourselves out of that loop of them more easily now because we're like clued in, right, and so we don't have to stay spinning in those limiting beliefs like we talked about in an earlier module, you know, and so it makes it a lot easier for us to not get so connected in. With what you said a minute ago about the shoulds, right, and you know, I think the shoulds is a big piece of where we start to see, especially as women leaders like, or that we start to take on this as part of our identity, that our worth is, you know, aligned with what we do, versus like who we are and you know what we're being and what's internally happening, and so we're letting all this external kind of drive that. So, yeah, that was definitely coming through for me. And then, of course, I always laugh because these things are always future self-driven.
Speaker 2:And even yesterday I was just doing a coaching session with a gal and she is someone who has been a leader in a setting where it was all on her.
Speaker 2:She, you know, had to manage all the things, and now she's in a setting where she's still a leader but she gets to have help, like we've talked a lot on here, right, and she is in this space of trying to let that happen, you know, and a lot of things do continue to come up for her that exhaust her, because she is trying to kind of paddle and do all these things and then she doesn't have to anymore, you know.
Speaker 2:And so it just was really kind of connected to this and painting that picture of how part of why it, you know, as we talked, part of it, what was coming through is like it feels uncomfortable. When you've done that for so long of doing all the things, it, it does actually feel uncomfortable and you you do have almost this like need to surrender and maybe even grieve a little bit of something that maybe you, you have put your worth into that Right, and you do think like, oh my gosh, what will people think if I'm not not doing that anymore? And so you do have to really have an internal dialogue about those things.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something you said in the podcast episode we link in the module, which is like releasing external validation. You talked about how maybe our purpose isn't our career, and I think that goes to just the story you're talking about, because we get really tied up into those accomplishments, like you said, and the do's, and that they define us and they are what we're here to do and accomplish. And for some people I really think that's true, but I it's that, given the option for it not to be, is the real kick. And I think that one of the things that is really pivotal along this time frame is like how do we I love the, our prompt is like how do we focus on what is truly best for us?
Speaker 1:And releasing that vision of, or that feeling is hard, and so I think one of the things that I've put through here is oftentimes it can feel easier to let go of like societal shoulds and expectations, but it's when you get into your inner circle and the people that you work with or the people that you want to inspire, there's still that element there where you're like what do they think?
Speaker 1:And that matters, and that's harder to detach yourself from, and I think that it's very imperative that that's where you go back to like your limiting beliefs, or you go back to like what are your core values. Because if you keep going back to these pieces of like what is best for me, what is best for my future, or my past or my present, that will continue to help motivate you forward and slowly you'll start to see that oftentimes, when the people closest to you is like, you're going through an evolution that they aren't, or you're holding up a mirror of a life that they wish they could have too. So I have a lot more thoughts on that piece, but I just want to pause there and see if that helps, if you have anything to add to that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think what was coming through, as you were saying that is this encouragement, that why we've even gone back through this ourselves is keep going back to me.
Speaker 2:You know, we live in a conditioned world where we are have been told and taught that that's selfish and we've got to break up with that limiting belief.
Speaker 2:That's a limiting belief because the truth in all of this is, if all of us are doing this inner work um, you know and sometimes it even feels funny to say work, because really it's just inner observation it is actually something that is so, so helpful and it doesn't have to be work. It's not that you're spending hours doing this. You know, you're allowing this to come through, whenever it comes through, but it's for the collective. If we're all doing this, we're, all you know, being able to have an experience through this. And one other thing that was coming through when you were saying that too, is that detachment from you know, being our identity, being attached to our career. And you know, you said, you know some people here have a purpose for that and and yeah, but I also think that we don't have to get attached to, but I said I was going to do that, that was my purpose, didn't I say that?
Speaker 2:you know, so there's those stories that happen, you know, and so I think we have this option to look at it and realize that maybe it's not to that degree in this season even doesn't mean that you're not here to have an influence on that, but being able to take the time and pause and to slow down. I mean, I think that's the whole thing with hustle is that we're just taught that it's always on go pace.
Speaker 1:Absolutely it's good, and I think so. Like this came up this morning uh, my, my morning Wednesday walk with my friend and she she's in a pivot moment, and I looked at her and I was like this does not mean you failed. Like you, you tried. It's a, it's a new evolution for where your path is going and it's everything you went through brought you here today, Like, and so I think it's that's. The other piece of that is that if we shift our gears or we change our job or we decide that, like, we're not going to climb the corporate ladder We've talked about this incessantly it's like you're going to have to have harmony somewhere, which means you're going to have to have these shifts.
Speaker 1:And I think one of the things I noted here is, like I know for me it's like I've done so much work to release other people's expectations and I I want to relate this story because you know it's pivotal for me and my evolution, but it's also, hopefully some people can my evolution. But it's also hopefully some people can find connections there. But when we live through this pandemic phase of life and as a natural people pleaser, worth is valued on. Like everyone likes me, no one's mad at me I'm doing what people expect of me. But the moment that I decided I was like I am 1000% not doing what anybody expects of me was game changing, like it was the hardest thing to do and it ate me alive.
Speaker 1:But I look back now and, going through this module, I was like I actually really I don't attach myself to other people's expectations anymore.
Speaker 1:I have my moments, I talk about that, I'll talk about that too, but for the most part, like it's what you said at the beginning, chana, where you have that moment of recognition and I'm like oh hey, I'm doing that. I'm not going to do that, let's just not attach that. And now it's like you can see through that. Like, let's just not attach that, and now it's like you can see through that. And in this example, I'll share as it feels appropriate as we weave into this, but it's like and I'm not, this is a mirror moment for them. And I really feel like, if we go back to this example of not doing what everyone expected us to do or wanted us to do, it is this perfect opportunity for like, to realize like, maybe because a little bit for them, they wanted to do that too. It was this like wow, I'm allowed to say no, I'm allowed to do things differently. What Like? What is that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean it definitely does give permission and I talk about that, I know I talk about it a lot about the decision that you know I had to come to when we would finally kind of springboarded us to move, you know, across the country. But there was like there was a lot of me, you know, being attached to these stories of I said I was going to do this, this is how I was going to do this. It was responsible for me to do this. I'm in this position, you know, to have some financial burden brought off my family. You know just so many stories.
Speaker 2:But you know it was the time of the pandemic and we're all honest on this side of things. We do see that it really beckoned us to make some, some decisions for ourselves. You know, I mean it really did, and so that was one of the things that came through is me being able to sit with myself and just be like why is that the only option, like you know, like why is this something that I think is the only option, you know, and being able to just open up to that. And the reason why I always come back to that is because it I think it was the perfect example of, at least in my experience, for what I had been through.
Speaker 2:I didn't talk a lot about it with other people. Yes, there were people in my life that I had a connection with or a deep relationship that I felt comfortable doing that. So, yes, I had conversations with people, but there were even people family that I didn't go into a lot of details until I had it connected right, because I truly feel like, in hindsight now, that was on purpose, it was so we could develop this ability to not have to go there and not have to get the external to figure out what I'm doing. And I truly believe on this side of it, that that is how things happened so quickly. Yeah, just because a few months, because it allowed it to not be so muddy by all the external.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we just wrapped up an interview and that's exactly the point is that we don't let the external cloud our connection to self, cloud our intuition. And so that's to your point is we need to recognize these moments where we seek out, like other people, to hash something out with us. Am I making the right decision? Did that conversation go the way it should have? It's being able to just live your authentic life and not have to check in with others on those pulse checks Like oh, is that what's going on? Or like is this the right thing to do? And like last week or the week before, I don't remember because you know hashtag time. But my manager, she said to me she goes. You know, you don't have to prove yourself anymore, right? And I was like wait what? And I think I might have mentioned this last week in module three, but I'm saying it again because I think it's applicable, because there's so much of that like telling the story of how you got to a conclusion or telling the why behind making a decision.
Speaker 1:I think that in the corporate world there's an element of that, but I think that goes to our personal lives too. It's like you don't have to justify anything to anyone. Our brother and sister-in-law have lived here for nine years. So sad that they're leaving. But we walked in their house and she was like we're moving back to Iowa. I looked at her. I was like wait what? And she so.
Speaker 1:For the rest of the evening she just kept trying to justify it to me. I looked at her and I was like is this the best thing for you? She was like, yes, I go. Then, great, I'm like, I'm not here for you to have to prove that this is the best thing for you. Like, we'll support you, we'll do this. And like she's like well, everyone else. And I was like you don't owe anybody anything ever.
Speaker 1:She's like, and that that concept was so foreign to her. She's like well, I just, I value your opinion, I trust you and I'm like, I am so happy you do. I was like but you don't need me to tell you this is the right thing for you. We'd like to take a break from our show to invite you to join our Patreon community. Over on Patreon, we have so many incredible resources to support you in your journey to living your most health-filled and joy-filled life. We have journal prompts, we have exclusive host interviews. We have incredible resources with self-affirmations and guidance on how to approach creating your own reality with ease. We hope to see you over on Patreon soon and we look forward to welcoming you into our incredible community, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, that is it. We've lived in a conditioned world where we get so used to having to have all of that external that it feels uncomfortable. That felt uncomfortable to her, right. That like what? What do you mean? I get to, but the thing is, on the other side of it, she's going to see how freeing that conversation was Right, and so that's what this is about.
Speaker 2:And I, you know, I just jotted down, as you were saying, like when your boss said you don't have to prove yourself anymore, like I'm over here celebrating you. You created that. Yeah, we have to remember that too. Like that's what we're talking about here. That's why we're saying, like you get to create your own reality, right, because you are doing this inner work and really staying with these values and this is actually what I want and then being a magnet for that, and so then you know that's just a created thing, and that's what we mean by create your own reality, because the more confident you can get in doing these things, that we're saying and taking this bird's eye view and, you know, going inward and looking at all of this and diving into this course and really taking through the pieces of it and allowing yourselves, to have that time with yourself, to do. It is how this happens. You create it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that and I think that goes to this point of you know, in this part too. And the module is like building authentic self-worth from within and like building your life around moments to connect with self and and and I think this is like as we go into this wrap with this one piece of this story but it's like we are really trying to build this life. Um, we talk about the joy of life that there's so much joy, there's too much joy, there's too much joy. But we're continuing to manifest this like vacation, home, this place we want to live.
Speaker 1:And the other day my dad goes well, aren't you? Hoity-toity, and I was like wait a second, what? No, but for a second I said wait, am I greedy? Yeah, am I? Am I? Is this too much? Should I not want this? And that was that moment where I was like wait a second, no, no, no, I love my dad and he's one of those people that it's hard for me to break that external validation from. But I told him I go, I go, you know what. You can do. This too, dad, it's not too late, you're not dead. He's like wait what?
Speaker 1:And to full circle to this, like building moments of connection with self like this is things where it's like every morning that, like three, probably three or four days a week, I will fill the bathtub to the brim and I'll get in the bathtub and I'll like do a meditation. That Shauna probably texted me already, because it's 530. My time is 8.30, her time. But I visualize these pieces and I release this, like it helps release the tension that can come up for me where it's like, oh, should I? And I'm like, no, no, just take a deep breath, break into breathing and like what does that life feel like? And a past version of myself would have been like oh my God, you waste 45 minutes a week in the bathtub. But it gets you these points of realizing like I am worth that time, I'm worth those moments to connect with myself.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, allowing ourselves to release is a big part of this Creating, redefining, tapping into our self-worth at this level that, to be completely honest, the more we talk about this and the more we've gone back through it, and what I've seen hustle has actually done is gotten my nervous system to a place where it feels uncomfortable to be calm.
Speaker 2:A place where it feels uncomfortable to be calm, like that, definitely comes up Right.
Speaker 2:And so then there's this whole new level of allowing and connecting and I can see, you know, like I said before in another episode, there's so many things over the years that have been so beneficial, that have helped, that have really calmed down, have allowed us to tap inward.
Speaker 2:But I will say there is something different right now and I'm noticing that my nervous system actually is starting to come into this new ability to detach honestly, to detach from those shoulds and those have tos and really what it is is is a release, and it's wild and of course, you know ego wants to come in and get involved, but we've been practicing nourishing that too, right, and so continuing to do that and, yeah, just just knowing that you know, we get to continue to define and redefine wherever we are, whatever joy means, whatever simple things we want or complex things we want, being able to step into that confidently. I think that's the piece, too, that I'm saying, that we're feeling and why we invite you into this of these deep dives is because you've got to build a confidence around this To be able to stand up against conditions that have been here for eons. You have to have this confidence in trusting and knowing that you can hold the peace when all of this, even chaos, may be going on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Do you ever feel like in that detachment space, do you ever feel like it's perceived and this is, of course, against kind of what we're saying but it's perceived as you're like aloof?
Speaker 2:Because I've had people are like why, like, what? Like what is she? You know, because of being an intuitive person, people are just like that is that's a little bit out there, Like that's wild. You know, and so I do. I mean, my higher self actually kind of shared with me that it is part of my role to be able to just allow this in bite size so people can be able to do what they want to with it right, and to bite into what parts feel comfortable with them.
Speaker 2:But yeah, and I mean even for me, like ego will come in and say those stories Like are you kidding me? Like what you know? I mean we're dreaming about, you know, being able to have a place close to the beach, and it's like those stories will come in, like what do you mean? You just, you just manifested this. You know what you have now. Isn't that enough? All of those stories like heck, yeah, like that's the thing, that's the part of being human, those things are going to come in. But what we're saying here is, the more connected we stay with these opportunities to pause, that's it. I mean, that's the magic in all of this, you guys, is there's a stimulus and there's a pause before a response. In all things, right, but this pause part is where the magic is, and that's what we're talking about here, and that's where you get to say like no, actually it's not crazy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I think, um, oh, I think so many things, but I just to elaborate on your pause moment, I said in here just pausing our movement to sit and read or take the bath or take the sauna session. I had a massage scheduled Monday. We had just, seriously, I don't. June is just blowing my mind right now in terms of like capacity and busyness, and I'm laying on the table and I start to become more aware of the little aches and pains and the tension that I felt in my body as she's like working on my body and I was like oh, and she's like, oh, are you okay? I was like I just didn't even realize, no-transcript, talking about how is my body responding to the level of activity I'm doing? I don't necessarily want to always have to lean on a piece of technology to get me there, but for me right now, in this phase of life, I have to have it Like I need something that's going to tell me hey, guess what?
Speaker 1:You have been maintaining such a level of stress on your body good or bad that like we're starting to see a decline in your readiness, we're starting to see a decline in your ability to do what, guess what. Also, it's like day 20 of my cycle or something and my body temperature still hasn't changed to put me in delusional phase. And these are little signs where I'm like, hmm, I need to take that pause. Where I'm like, hmm, I need to take that pause, I need to quit filling my calendar and saying yes to everything. It's getting to that burnout point, even with the good hustle. So just kind of taking all of that into that pause, calm it. And it's really hard for someone like myself to think, oh, you're making so much progress and I think I've said this throughout every module recap we've done such good reminders of this is a work in progress, always a work in progress.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a journey Like that's the thing. That's one of the biggest things that we have to let go of is that we are on some kind of speed train to a destination. It's like we're just not, we're just not no matter what, even if we love all of the stops along, you know, whatever, we're just not, you know, in that capacity thing that you talked about, and like whether it's good stress or bad stress. I was talking to another gal in another coaching session yesterday and we were talking about how, you know, strong leaders can be super flexible and we can do things in the moment that we can, you know, handle a situation Right, and in the moment we don't think like, oh, that was, that was fine, it wasn't stressful, I got it, you know, I handled it, but exactly to your point. And what you said and this is what she was saying is that she's noticing, because she is also doing a lot of this observing of herself is it's there.
Speaker 2:When you take the slow down and you take the pause, you're actually like, ah, I've got this ache going on and this is happening.
Speaker 2:And you know and it's not that you necessarily have to tune into those aches and like, oh, poor me and all of that.
Speaker 2:But really, why that's important is because those are freaking body messages. They're actually supposed to be supporting you in the moment so that you can do something or support it in a way or not do something, be you know, so that you can be able to continue on this journey of the things that you want. Because if we let those pile up, that is where burnout happens, that is where injury happens, that is where illness happens, sleep starts to go out the window, all of those things start to snowball, and so that's why we continue to go back to that for sure, and, yeah, I think it's just really important for us to know that we can continue to spin in things. But I think the overarching thing in all of these modules was that we get to give ourselves permission to pause and go there to observe it, to allow ourselves to have this want, to allow ourselves to redefine all the things, and for us to see that our worth is not in tied up in this constant like having to achieve and gain things to achieve and gain things.
Speaker 1:I agree, it's it. This has been really like. I really have enjoyed this and I think, even just thinking back to like we don't we don't want anything to allow like to steal our joy and and I think, as we continue to integrate the work that we've done in these last four modules and like recapping this for everyone, it's going to continue to help us drive that into like listening to our intuition and connecting with our highest self, our true self. So I'm so glad we did this. This has been such a fun exercise.
Speaker 2:Yeah, me too, you know I can't believe it. Actually, I was thinking about how I'd been, over six months since we first launched this, you know, self-paced, shifting from hustle course for you all, and I'm so glad, too, that we took this nudge to dive deeper back into it for ourselves. Where we are in this season, even, you know, and from the feedback that we've been getting from you already with these episodes, you know, and for those of you who have started to take the class, we, you know, we appreciate that and we know that you're eager to continue to be on this journey with us. We created this course with the desire for it to not only be one more thing that you leave in your inbox or that's on the back of your mind that, oh my gosh. Yeah, I want to take a look at that one day when I have time. We actually put a lot of intention into making this bite-sized. Like we always say, our videos with this course are less than five minutes long.
Speaker 2:For each module. We've included a handful of, really honestly, our most intimate tools that we created for this, because we want you to be able to do this. It's doable, yet it's so transformable, and I hope you're feeling that through these revisit episodes that we've done, this really does help you get to the root of and feel more connected, feel more confident being you. So we believe with so much clarity that whatever needs to come through from listening to this, from walking through the modules, we know and trust that you're going to get exactly what you need from it. And, as a reminder, we just want to tell you that the four parts of that are what this is helping you transform is one setting intentions and aligning with joyful living to recognize and release your limiting beliefs. Three, set and be able to hold healthy boundaries. And then four, creating this authentic self-worth. We're so confident that these are going to set you up to help you release hustle more readily as you step into authentically really accessing your most helpful joyful life, without pushing it and trying to make it happen.
Speaker 2:If you feel called to this but your ego is playing a scarcity story, we get it. We know this happens. That is why we have created this incredible invitation for the course. It actually is so easy for you to build it into your days, both in the time commitment you're going to have and also the financial commitment. So we want you to come see for yourself. We're truly honored to be your guides with this. We know we will get. You will get just what you need right when you jump in and every time that you return to it. So, sis, transforming yourself from hustle to ease beckons you to reflect, release and restore. You get to experience this now. Release and restore you get to experience this now. So scroll through the show notes, find the link, go explore the options for purchasing this course. You know you won't regret it and remember you're never going to regret choosing a simple way to access your joy-filled life. It gets to be easy. We want to welcome you, to tune in, stay close and grow with us. Come feel empowered, inspired and connected.
Speaker 1:Check the show notes to follow us and, of course, we'd love for you to take us on social media and you share wetlands for you.
Speaker 2:Until next time, breathe on purpose, stay curious and trust your intuition.